fashion, style and more; bump & beyond blog

You're pregnant!  Congratulations!  You think that you know what to expect, you think you've heard it all and your're prepared to be pregnant-woohoo, so exciting...and then

Let the letting go of expectations begin.

Here are our Top 10 Things That You Didn't Expect When You Were Expecting:

1. Exhaustion

Every movie and sitcom about pregnancy talks about the nausea. We are all expecting that. No one prepares you for the sheer exhaustion that has you napping under your desk like George Costanza by 10 am.

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2. Your body starts changing almost immediately-all over.

You thought that you'd get a nice cute little bump, what you didn't expect were all those other bumps-the girls can go out of control in the first trimester, and all sorts of other things may start changing, and "thickening around the middle" can happen..it all just feels different-but not just a cute little bump different!  Just remember--it's all good-you're pregnant, and nothing, starting now, will be exactly as you expected it to be. 

3. Who knew that strollers were like cars?

Picking the right stroller involves spreadsheets, recommendations and is the biggest choice you will make until choosing a preschool.  Round and round you go...

4. You may not sleep ...

We think it as “nature’s way of getting you ready for baby.” aka "not sleeping".

You expected not to sleep once you HAD the baby, but what you might not have expected was 

-pregnancy insomnia- you are so exhausted all you want to do is sleep, then you finally fall asleep for an hour or two and then- WIDE. AWAKE

-trying to figure out how to sleep with a baby bump, which gives you and your bed discovering a new game-how many pillows you can fit in one bed.  And do all those pillows help?  Yeah. Maybe.  A little. 

The struggle to get sleep while pregnant is real.

5. In your 3rd trimester, you’re starving, but are full after 3 bites.

So, small meals in the first trimester to manage nausea, small meals in the third trimester due to lack of space.

6. When you water breaks it might not be like in the movies.

There may be no gallon of water on the floor. It can be much more more subtle.  Just a head up.  

7. The Name Game may not be as easy as you thought.

Everyone has an opinion on your baby name choices, and many of them are not good and include statements like “you can’t really be considering that name. I went to 8th grade with someone named that and they were terrible.” Riiiight.  Thanks?

8. Heartburn.

If you’ve never had it before, there’s a good chance you are going to now.

9. Everything that you knew about getting dressed changes

You may become a “dress person” when you are normally a jeans and tee shirt gal, you may think that you want super fitted and then just feel thick around the middle in fitted, you may think that you want flowy and discover that you want to flaunt the bump (usually after the first trimester-flowy and cinched are the go-tos's in the first trimester).

10. Your modesty will go out the window

faster than you could have ever imagined. Husband "I didn't realize thatg you were a person who ran around naked."  Yup, before pregnancy, you weren't.  But that too may change. 

We know, we said 10, but...

11. You will need to buy more shoes

Swelling is a thing, and even if your ankles don't disappear, most moms find that a few new shoes are in order.  Gte easy on and off shoes, skip laces, zippers and buckles. And some of us never go back to our before baby shoe size. 

Who knew?

Yep, not what you expected.

What did you NOT expect?  Tag us and tell us on Instagram @momsthewordstyle and on FB @momstheword.2b

Everywhere we look there are lists of what you should wear in your first, second and third trimester, and well, that's just not a thing! 

What you should wear in your third trimester? The things that you have been wearing in your second!  Get the most bang for your buck, wear it early and wear it as often as you like, but, don't buy something to wear for 3 months-save that for the baby-who is growing in every direction!  We may pad a little in areas that we didn't expect to when we're expecting, but the bulk of pregnancy is carried in the belly! Find clothes that fit you and you'll be good to grow from first trimester to forever.  

When should I start wearing maternity clothes?

When your clothes either don't fit

or, and this is super important,

when you're clothes start making you feel fat. 

You are not fat, you're pregnant.  There's nothing like wearing your "fat clothes" or stuffing yourself into clothes that fit your pre-preg bust/hips/waist  to make you feel fat.  So, Just Say No to feeling fat, and Say Yes to getting styles that make you feel good! 

If your clothes stop fitting, or, start making you feel fat -not pregnant, at 9 weeks, then that is the perfect time for you (and maybe not your sister-in-law or neighbor or bff) to invest in some new clothes for all three trimesters, and for what we affectionately refer to as "the trip back down"

But, will something that I get at 12 weeks still fit at 40 weeks?

With average weight gain it should. It's not that complicated really.  Will everything fit?  Maybe not.  Guessing how that average weight gain will distribute itself is impossible to do, some of us carry straight out front, some pad more in the hips and thighs.  So, if you get a piece that is not stretchy at 12 weeks there is a chance it won't take you to 40-however!  If it has nursing access?  Then yay, you will love it after delivery because it's had a bit of a rest. 

If you only want things which will absolutely get you to the very end of the third trimester just make sure that it's got stretch-and length too.  A stretchy top might stretch over a third trimester bump, but it's it's too short and hits you mid belly-that is not a good look on anyone but Santa Claus-or even lower than mid belly but still on your belly-still not a flattering or feel good look.  So, go long.  If a top hits you about 9-12" below your belly button you're good for the whole pregnancy.  Does it feel long?  Just scrunch it up a little.

Shouldn't I get a bigger size?

That's a trick question since most of us wear different sizes in different designers.  But, generally, no, with average weight gain you should not have to go up a size.  take the time to read the sizing chart and How Does It Fit section for our advice on individual pieces, and by all means please let us know if your experience differs.

The best rule of thumb is this:

If the bigger size doesn't look too big, do the bigger size.

Remember, your shoulders aren't growing, so, if it's too big in the shoulders,, it's probably too big.

Denim?  Remember, denim relaxes out. If we had a dime for every time someone walked into one of our shops wearing jeans that were two sizes too big we could retire.  Seriously.  Two sizes.  Don't go up in denim.  And if you're near a shop and you're going to invest in good jeans, invest the time to try them on and make your butt and bump look their best.

What about multiples?

Ok.  Trickier, but, again, not rocket science.  On that length thing for tops?  Go with something at least 10" below your belly button, ideally 12 even.  Stretchy fabrics are your new bff.  If it doesn't have stretch you might want to skip it, or at least get it knowing that it won't take you to term.  

What's the "Trip Back Down"

That's our way of acknowledging that the miracle of making a human with our very own bodies takes our beloved bodies some time to recover from-just ask the trillions of women who have been asked when they are due...after the baby is born.  

How long is that trip?  weeks, months, years, again, like every single thing about this journey, yours is yours-and it is the right one.  Enjoy it. 

Here are just a few of our first-second-third trimester faves. 

First trimester/last trimester

 

Same top : 35 weeks pregnant with twins, to post-partum with 35 week old twins!

It's a wrap! 

A wrap dress woks brilliantly from first trimester to forever-just make sure that it is one designed for a bump so you don't start showing too much as it no longer wraps around in the second half of pregnancy!

It's never too early for good jeans.  Breathing is important:)

Second pregnancy mamas come in daily saying that they're getting their good jeans earlier this time-why put off the inevitable?  Be comfy!  No one needs to see the stretchy bits.

We could go on and on, but, here's the truth, buy what you love, love it from first trimester to third trimester through the trip back down. If you're not sick to death of it by then-because there are three years of wear in one pregnancy year so you may hate the things that you loved- come back and get more like that mama of twins did!  (She sent us those pics after she'd stopped in to shop when the twins were 2!)

From that first wtf to forever-there is no "right or wrong time" to wear things that make you shine!  Bump it up mama. You are so worth it!

Hello! My name is Julia and I used to be in charge of my daily life. Then I found out I was pregnant. And all that changed.

Don’t get me wrong! I am so thankful and so excited for this new chapter of life, but, boy, do I miss eating hamburgers.

As of right now I am between 9 and 10 weeks along in my first pregnancy and officially going through it. How do I not know the exact weeks? Because I have yet to figure out how I’m supposed to even count the weeks! I can’t be the only one confused with when the ‘official’ start date is?

And, what is "officially going through it"?

So far: My body seems to only want to sleep during the day, my sickness isn’t only in the morning, and forget about eating for two. I can barely eat for one!

There is so much I couldn’t know about pregnancy without going through it myself.  I knew that every pregnancy is different.  Now I know so much more, though it is always a bonding experience to complain about heartburn and exhaustion with other new moms. There is something in the way women come together to swap tips on how not to throw up in the car that is truly heartwarming. And like me, these wonderful mama’s have no clue what’s going on! But you know what? That’s okay.

Not going to lie, if someone had handed me a guidebook about what it’s really like, I could have maybe been a bit more prepared. Though who’s to say if it would have actually helped. We always joke in store that you could write hundreds of books about what the doctor doesn’t tell you. Some of it, most of it, you find out on your own.

What I’ve learned most in my short time as an expecting mother is this:

• You’re never just kind of pregnant. As soon as that test says yes, congratulations! Celebrate that time because it is beautiful and yours. Do the elaborate reveals or just send out a mass text. Whatever you want, but it’s a thing that is now happening. I, personally, have yet to reach the stage of glowing pregnancy, but just because I’m not feeling radiant doesn’t mean it’s not a pregnancy.
• You’re not the only one who feels bloated instead of pregnant. There’s a middle stage between not showing and showing that we lovingly call the “big lunch” stage. You feel big, but not in the maternity sense of the word. That’s okay. It’s just another thing that’s happening, another step in the road. It’s a universal feeling no matter if it’s your first or third baby. You don’t have to embrace it, just remember that its normal. The new normal.
• You’re not the boss anymore. Like I mentioned, I haven’t been able to do what I would normally since I found out I was pregnant. Can’t sleep how I used to for fear of heartburn. Can’t eat what I used to because I have such a texture aversion now and smells! Smells are intense! My baby has my heart in its little hand…as well as my stomach, lower back, and sinuses. From the moment of conception, your little bundle of joy is pulling all the strings. Totally normal to surrender control until you feel yourself again.
• Advice is great, but you don’t always have to take it. The only one who can really tell you how your pregnancy should go and what you should do is your doctor. It’s easy to get bombarded with words of advice from parents, grandparents, in-laws, strangers on the street, a lady writing a blog, but it’s super okay to just say “thanks!” and let it flow in one ear and out the other. Yes, sometimes it can be helpful. Sometimes. Not always.

There is a whole new world opening up with just the beginning of a pregnancy. As someone who is currently experiencing it for the first time, I can tell you how not normal it feels. But as someone who has worked here at Mom’s the Word for some time, I can tell you it totally is. All the cravings, all the weird sensations and little ticks you have. Normal! It’s a bit like riding a roller coaster with a blindfold on. It might make you sick, and you can only really guess at when you’ll be able to get off, but you’ll get used to it. At least let’s hope so! Fingers crossed, ladies!

The weather outside is changing and your baby bump is growing fast, so what on earth are you going to wear today? Changing seasons, changing body, trying to get dressed, oh my! Transitional style may sound tricky..

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"Rules schmules" is our usual statement on fashion rules. Do what makes you feel fabulous.  Different people have different styles and we love that. And, that being said, dressing while pregnant can be a challenge.  Sure, you love the bump, but, damn, what about those other lumps and bumps?  How do you dress to flatter the bump and hide any other bumps that you might not be as enamored of?

Guidelines, rules, whatever.  Here they are:

Rule # 1: You're Doing It Right

First rule, remember, you are doing this right. You are making a human, it's exhausting in so many ways. Step away from anything and anyone who makes you feel anything but good.

The odds that you'll be able to look in the mirror with any perspective are pretty slim. It's not unusual to experience a little body dysmorphia when your body is being morphed from within!

So set aside some time to learn what it is that makes you look and feel good in this new and amazing and every changing body?

Bring a friend or shop somewhere where you can trust the folks looking in the mirror with you. It's worth taking a little more time than usual to shop- you are learning how to dress all over again. Shopping online?? When the clothes arrive, grab a friend, touch base with the store if questions that you have about size or fit.

 

# 2 Start Here: Go-To Basics

When you're not feeling at your best, your closet is smaller and morning sickness has got you down, we always recommend starting with go-to basics:  a well fitting pair of jeans and a few tops-either flowy or fitted-both will work and both will make you look good, and manage all manner of lumps.

Go with the flow-find a flowy top like the Penny Pleat Back that fits your shoulders(they aren't growing) glides over the belly and hips while also hiding the bum. Try a First Trimester French Tuck-this QE trick has been called a Front Tuck for years here at Mom's the Word by our very own QEs.

Then try a more fitted top like the Original Cinched Top for cotton comfort with ruching to help hide the things we weren't thrilled with before and certainly aren't super thrilled about right now. (In other words, do people wear this top waaay beyond the bump? All the time! Back fat? Muffin top?  Where?  None here!)

# 3 Lean In: Learn to Love your Body

Hate your hips, but at least you have a waist?  Um..yeah, make that had a waist. Move it on up.  Wear empire waist tops and dresses.  Maxi's, like the Angelina, are stellar. If you feel bottom heavy, grab a maxi with an open neckline and prepare to accept the compliments.  We're big on really drawing the eye up and away from the hips. Just anther tip that will serve you well for years to come. 

Something with drape in the front, a great print and a little more shape to the back is a perennial favorite here.  Why?  

A good print camouflages the bumps that aren't a baby, the drape doesn't grab your bum, and you get to show off your waistline in back. Good. Done. Go!

 

Wearing a big flowing piece may feel like a good bet, but giving a nod to I've got a body under here" seems to be where most of our clients feel best.  So, grab a sash or a belt and rock the bump. (This is a great way to let people know that you're pregnant-because people who aren't pregnant don't wear their belts under their bust!)

Do not look at the body parts that you hated before you were pregnant.  Odds are, you will only hate them more while pregnant, and they will not magically disappear, but thankfully...

#4 Remember: It's All About that Bump

Time to change your perspective. It's all anyone else is really looking at anyhow, so dress it up grand, whatever that means to you. A baby bump can be a good balance sometimes, as it becomes everyone's focal point as it grows.  You might as well get used to it now. 

No matter how cute you are, all eyes will go to the baby first. This is your new life. It ain't about you any more.  And it definitely is not about your butt:)  Plus, you're a smart mama, you nailed Rule # 1 and found a really good pair of jeans.

Hint for the beyond the bump/trip back down: those jeans?  You'll be wearing them after delivery and that is a-okay too.