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    4 New Year's Resolutions that will Save your Sanity

    4 New Year's Resolutions that will Save your Sanity

    Let's be honest, most New Year's Resolutions are out the door by Martin Luther King Day. Here are some resolutions that will have you feeling more sane in the new year.

    1. Put your phone down.  And leave it there. For an hour. Every day.

    We know, eyeroll, and this sounds so sanctimonious. Obviously, this helps you be more present, focused and “hands free.” 

    It is also an act of self care. It is really nice to be inaccessible for a least an hour every day.  We also like that social media and the conscious or unconscious need to compare ourselves, our lives and our kids to the rose colored filter of social media gets turned off for an hour. 


    2. Stop apologizing for Insert Perceived Imperfection Here

    What do you apologize for that maybe you don't have to? Everyone has laundry, and dishes it’s ok if sometimes people see it. We promise no one is going to stop being your friend because you have a sink of dirty dishes or a laundry couch of clean clothes or whatever else you think they're going to judge you for. And if they do, you are better off without them. True story:  one of us invited a friend over and their response was “Can we just come over or are you going to do that thing where you apologize about your messy house for 20 minutes-when it’s actually fine?”

    How many times have you apologized for X?  If you apologize for it constantly, chances are no one wants to hear it again.  Can you change it?  And. Do you want to change it?! Or are you just feeling less-than? You are perfect-as are your kids and your house. 

    3. Stop comparing. 

    There is so much talk about how social media makes us compare ourselves to others. And it's a real thing. This can be especially tough on moms.

    Whether it is the humbling bragging of other moms, you know “SoulCycle. Done. Whole Foods. Done. 3 loads of laundry. Done. Meal Prep for the week. Done. I can’t believe how much I can get done before school pick up! #MomLife” Or  “Oh, the struggles of raising a gifted child. Michael just gets so bored in Kindergarten. He is reading Harry Potter while everyone else is still reading Piggie and Elephant. #ProudMom #GiftedProblems.” Or the Pinterest and Instagram Mom taking her perfectly dressed toddler on a picturesque picnic in the park.

    Kids (and adults;) are all wired differently and all do things at different times. Some kids hit milestones early, some kids surpass the bell curve, some kids are into sitting still and enjoying a picnic, some never sit still. 

    Take time to enjoy your kid doing what your kid enjoys doing.  That is what matters.  And, you know it, so, how are you going to remind yourself? (See #1 and 2:)

    4. Get comfortable with being vulnerable.

    Really.  Deep. Breathe.

    When someone says “How are you?” and you are really struggling with something. Own. That. Shit.

    That doesn’t mean go on and on and on in front of the grocery store or at school drop off. But give a real answer, not “Fine. Everything is great, you?” if it isn’t.

    Everyone, especially moms of young kids, are going through a lot. It is easier to have meaningful conversations if you are able to be honest about where you are and what you need. This is super scary for a lot of us, but once the initial discomfort is over, it can lead to the connection and support we all need.

    ---------------

    You and your kids?  All perfect.  And changing.  And growing. 

    Practice these resolutions every day and you can grow new neural pathways.  Really. It's a thing. 

    Here's to another trip around the sun.  Make it a good one. Happy 2019 to all!

    Pregnancy Tips: 7 Ways To Survive The First Trimester

    Pregnancy Tips: 7 Ways To Survive The First Trimester

    The first trimester-

    AKA the trimester that you aren't telling anyone that you're pregnant, and you really want to tell them why you are so tired, cranky and sick!

    It’s also when you realize that this is a journey into the unknown.  You've heard about the first trimester, but, when it's you, it's different!  It's also different for everyone, so, this is a great time to learn to step away from comparing.  This will serve you well, in  parenting and in life!

    To make things a little easier, here are some simple tips to help you survive!

    1. Remember- It's okay.

    Whatever you are feeling- the odds are that everything is ok. 

    2. Master the art of talking

    In the first trimester, if you have a trusted friend or two, a professional or maybe even just a mom at the next table at the cafe-it's nice to be able to talk about it.  Make a few phone calls and ask if you can touch base before your coming out at 12 weeks. 

    This is assuming that you want to wait until 12 weeks.  There is actually no rule that says you have to wait to tell people.  The majority of women we meet prefer to wait, but not all do. A mom left just the other day, in her 10th week, saying "I just love sharing this news with strangers!"  It's a super exciting time, you may want to share the joy, and release the fear, that's okay too!  

    Waiting or not waiting until 12 weeks is one of the first things that you get to decide as a parent.  (Congratulations-you ARE a parent, even if you're not telling everyone!) Your body is working hard to take care of your child! Take good care of the mama-that's you!

    A word on mastering the art of the talk after you announce:

    You will probably have different conversations after you've announced. When you’re telling the 30th person this week; a woman who you barely like from your office, it’s sure to be less fun. Become a master of the short-and-sweet announcement.  “Guess what? I’m pregnant! Yes, we’d been trying. Yes, I’m thrilled. Oh sure, it’s my first! No, we don’t want to know the sex. Okay, gotta run!” Done. Exit left.

    3. Have a morning sickness action plan:

    Holding back your hair and bending down to vomit may not have been how you pictured your ideal morning routine, but here it is. What’s more, despite the seriously misleading name, morning sickness can strike at pretty much any time during the day or night. While you can’t magically make it disappear, there are some small things you can try:

    • Avoid rich and spicy food
    • Eat small, regular meals/snacks, yep, grazing helps
    • Keep crackers and almonds in your pocketbook
    • Try drinking peppermint tea

    Mamas-to-be often fear morning sickness. There are so many myths and horror stories out there that the thought of it all is hard to handle. Don’t panic. We’ve got your back on this one with more ideas here.  And.  It will end. Just keep repeating that to yourself.  it may help....sometimes..

    3. Find an OB/GYN and/or Midwife you trust


    Okay, this may be "duh" obvious, but this is just a reminder that this one could take a little time and effort and is worth it.  You’re picky about your hair stylist, your favorite barista, and the person who does your nails. This person – whether they’re a midwife, doctor, or nurse – will be by your side for the next nine months. Let's just admit it-That’s longer than some relationships!


    And, you deserve the best! So, we shouldn’t have to tell you to take your time when it comes to choosing the right person for you, but, we're just here to gently remind you, because, well, some mamas are busy!  We suggest meeting with a few people until you find an expert who you trust and actually like being around.  Got a spouse?  Bring them too.

    4. Carry some essential oils in your purse


    Urgh! What’s that disgusting smell? You’d better get used to it. Being pregnant means that you have a miraculously heightened sense of smell. That means that you may be seriously sensitive to icky, gross scents.


    What will trigger you is unpredictable, but there will most likely be something/s that will irritate you more than you can say. Carrying some essential oils in your purse means that you will have something to sniff when those nasty whiffs come your way. Ginger and cardamom can block the nausea receptors in the brain, peppermint also can help.

    5. Learn to dress your new body

     


    Your body is changing and while it may be a slow process, you’ve probably already noticed the signs. When it comes to dressing your teeny bump, and your "new and improved" bust, looking and feeling good can be even more important than ever. And, in the first trimester, you may want to hide the bump, making dressing even that much more "interesting". It can be done, with relative ease.

    First-you want to feel comfortable.

    Second, you do not want to feel fat-  You are not fat, you are pregnant!

    Third, well, heck mama, you want to look amazing, no time like the present to start doing it right.  Honestly, we've done this a lot and looking good really does make you feel good-especially when you're in your first trimester and feeling amazing because you're pregnant-but feeling tired and sick-because you're pregnant.  Give yourself some time.  Try new styles. The old rules of dressing will not necessarily apply. And, there is not a "too early" to get yourself some great maternity jeans. 

    This is also a good time to Invest in a few pregnancy staples here and there to get you started. For example, you may want to get some leggings, a tunic, and maybe a couple of dresses. The key is to have things that you love which suit your new shape and will fit for months too come.

    6. Give your body what it needs!

    prenatal vitamins

    Now that you know how to dress your body, let’s talk about how to look after it too. Talk to your doctor/midwife and ask them to suggest a seriously good prenatal vitamin. The truth of the matter is that your body may need this extra boost to help it along the way.

    Make sure that the vitamins you get include Folic Acid, Iron, and Calcium, as these are three of the most crucial things that your body may lack. Of course, you shouldn’t rely on vitamins or supplements. You know the drill here! You need to eat a healthy balanced diet as well to make sure you’re as fit as can be.

    7. Stay as active as possible


    Were you a total gym bunny before you got pregnant? Well, carrying a child is no reason to stop, mama! You might need to change up your routine a little, but you should still remain as active as possible. Again, you may want to consult your doctor and figure out a pregnancy workout routine that suits you.


    Oh, and if you weren’t all that active before you got pregnant, that doesn’t mean that you can’t be now. Some light yoga, walking, and even swimming are great ways to stay in shape and look after your health. You know it makes sense!

    You've got this mama.