What NOT to Say to a Pregnant Woman

Sometimes people say foolish things to other humans.  This happens with even more frequency when you're pregnant it seems.  We often say that pregnant women should just travel with a roll of duct tape to shut people up, like if they say:
  • "You're HUGE!"
    • REALLY?  Whatever made anyone think that that would ever be an okay thing to say to anyone?  Ever?  Especially a pregnant, hormonal person?  And they apparently say it all the time, the world over.
  • "You don't look pregnant."
    • Great so, I just look like I got fat, is that what you're saying?  This one is sometimes maybe meant as a compliment? Sometimes it is followed by "You're too skinny, are you sure that the baby is okay?"  Right, because that's also exactly what pregnant women want to hear.
  • "Are you sure it's not twins?"
    • Our favorite response to this one, to date, is "Yes.  Absolutely sure.  It's quintuplets." What else can you say?
  • "Any day now?"
    • Why can people not understand that unless they know a person's due date?  They do not know a person's due date. Nuff said? We all carry differently.
  • "Ohh, and you're expecting another?" to anyone holding a baby under the age of 4 months.
    • Really?  Because even if I was pregnant again, I would not yet be showing!  There are some people out there with day nurses, night nurses, personal trainers and an arsenal of shapewear.  The rest of us just look pregnant.  For a while.  Just the facts.

  • "Should you really be wearing those heels/lifting that box/taking a sip of your spouses wine/riding that bicycle...."
    • This is a perfect opportunity to start practicing either just plain ignoring people or saying "I'm sorry? Did you say something?" (This one gives them an opportunity to get out of a bad situation.) "Yes, apparently I feel that I should." "I'm sorry, I don't think that I asked..did I? I seem to be doing fine and so is my baby." Because if you think that people are all in your business now, just wait until you have the baby!

  • "It must be a girl, you're carrying all around/in your butt/on your backside."
    • I'm sorry!?  What?  Yes, we've heard this more than once.  It sometimes seems that people truly do not think before speaking.  It's unfortunate. For them.  Rock that baby bottom and move away from the meanies. They're just jealous.  Or something.

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