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Boy? Girl? Surprise? To find out or not find out?

Written by Dede Lewis

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Posted on February 08 2019

Of course the most exciting part of every pregnancy is finally meeting your baby.

Along the way, one of the many decisions that you get to make is deciding whether you want to find out the gender of the baby.  Do you have a pinterest worthy gender reveal party, or do you announce from the delivery room saying “It’s a BOY!” Or “It’s a GIRL!” 

To find out the gender or not to find out the gender, that is the question.  Neither is nobler than the other. There is no right answer, just a right-for-you answer. 
 
If you are a hyper planner, maybe finding out is good. Here's another thought: If you're a hyper planner maybe pushing yourself to wait is a good exercise. Not finding out could be the perfect stepping stone into the complete surrender of control that is parenthood!  You can plan, and that will help you, but the reality is that there is just so much planning that can be done, and some things you just don't know. 
Some people like waiting to find out because it gives less time for well meaning relatives to shop for items that push their idea of gender onto the baby. Some parents-to-be may gag at the idea of  a “Daddy’s Little Princess” and “Mommy’s Little Slugger” onsie.  
From those of us here who have done it both ways- the “surprise” at 20 weeks and the “surprise at delivery” - we do have a couple thoughts to share, and, really, you'll do this one fine:
  • If you have a strong desire for one gender over the other, or just really don’t do well with surprises and feel like you need time to process the results, you may want to find out early.
  • If you can’t pick a girl OR boy name it may simplify your life to find out and could save you months of coming up with 2 sets of names.
  • This is your decision, there is absolutely positively not a right or wrong on this one.  There will be lots of decisions in parenting, a lot of them don't have a right or wrong way to do it, no matter what you read.
Whatever road you choose, sit back, put your feet up and enjoy the journey! One thing is certain, It's a baby!!

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